31.10.15

African Souls

source: emorfes

Manuela Kulpa is a German photographer who photographs animals in captivity across zoos . Through her photographs she wants to show the beauty, richness and importance of our environment and how it is vital to preserve it. In her latest series entitled “African Souls”  Kulpa attempts to capture the soul and beauty of African wildlife.













24.10.15

You don’t know anyone at the party..................

You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way. Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.

Julien Smith

17.10.15

15 GIFs That Assure You They Meant To Do That

source: FUNNYORDIE

These GIFs have nothing to explain except that everything they did was completely on purpose.

















10.10.15

The Funniest Menu Translation Fails Ever

source: boredpanda

Presentation is part of a dish's appeal, and the menu is part of the presentation. This makes the English translation of food descriptions important; if I see an item described as “human” chicken, I'm not going to order it no matter how delicious it is.

















3.10.15

20 PhD Students Dumb Down Their Thesis

source: tickled

20 PhD's were asked "What is a dumbed down summary of your theses?" These answers are perfect.

1. Does music express emotions or just elicit them? Read the next 200 pages to not find out.
- Welldogmycats

2. Girls take birth control. Girls then pee out unmetabolized estrogens from birth control. Pee goes to water treatment plant, estrogens not treated, male fish become female fish.
- Altzul

3. Nanoparticles are weird and I accidentally made a bomb and electrocuted myself.
-M33

4. People trying meditation for the first time get aroused.
- PainMatrix

5. When I get rid of this gene, it messes the brain up. A lot.
- NeuroscienceNerd

6. Computer AI systems can learn to operate a warp drive and automatically build an instructional system to train people how to do it. My dissertation is probably the only one in existence to reference the Star Trek technical manual.
- DrBiometrics

7. My experimental drug does NOT cure addiction.
- NotSoCleverPork

8. Making new magnets from old magnets because we're running out of magnets.
- IAmAHiggsBoson

9. Inpatients with schizophrenia are happier and socialize more in the context of a music listening group. It was obvious before we began the project and we learned nothing.
- Wouldyestap

10. Little things stick together. Here's a slightly easier way to calculate their stickiness.
- Born2bwire

11. There are amoebas living in volcanos, but I never captured Bigfoot on film (I tried).
- RNAPII

12. We can take random pieces of bacterial DNA from beaver poop and put them into other bacteria to discover new things, like how to break wood down into biofuels. Yes, I had to dissect dead beavers and handle their poop.
- Geneius

13. This protein looks like it might contribute to asthma. Oh, turns out it probably doesn't.
- Bear_Ear_Fritters

14. I crunch numbers using a supercomputer in the hopes of ensuring a fusion reactor in France doesn't get fried on the inside.
- PhysicsFornicator

15. Two proteins touch each other in a specific place in the developing heart. No idea if it's important for anything.
- Penguinpaige

16. I can make models of galaxies in a computer, but I can't explain why they don't act like real ones. Even if I bash them together or stir them around.
- McMillan_Astro

17. People sometimes think about animals as if they're people. People like those animals a little more than regular animals. Except when they don't. I can't believe they gave me a PhD.
- too_many_mangos

18. Sand washes away, don't build important stuff on it
- Zoidy

19. Why does a coffee stain looks the way it is, and how you can use it to make anti-laser glasses.
- Stockholm-Syndrom

20. You can make antimatter move in strange ways if you set your equipment up wrong.
- DrTBag




2.10.15

My Rich Woman

It's winter 1987/88, and I'm living with my first (English) wife in Greece. In February I get a telegram (those were the days) from Germany, my father had fallen ill with lung cancer. So I go back to Germany while my wife stays in Greece.

I was brought up in the Ruhrvalley, an industrial area relatively close to the Belgium border. So you wouldn't expect any tourists there. However, on the day I arrived I went with a good friend to a pub. We sat down at the bar, and a couple of minutes later this English lady from London sits down right next to me.

We obviously start to chat, and after about 5 minutes she suddenly says "I've got to read your cards!"

She gets a pack of cards from the bartender, does some things with them, and then says: "There is somebody seriously ill in your family, and I see you marrying a rich woman."

Remember, I had just met her, so she couldn't possibly know about my father. And I told her that I was already married. She simply insisted that this was what the cards told her.

Little did I know at the time that my wife was getting ready to leave me, so a couple of weeks later I was single again. Still shell-shocked, I start to hitchhike through Europe.

I arrive in Vienna one early morning in May. I book into a youth hostel, it's six o'clock in the morning, and this guy from Jugoslavia starts a conversation with me.

After a couple of minutes he says "I've got to read your horoscope!" He simple needed my date of birth, did some calculations, then said: "There is somebody seriously ill in your family, and I see you marrying a rich woman."

So ladies, it's friggin' 2015, and I'm beginning to get old.....

WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU?!?